how jew are u??
put x's in the spaces where the question is tru about you! ready? each x you put
is 2%
[ ] if someone threw a penny you would chase after it
[ ] you know at least 5 words in yiddish
[ ] you had your bar/bat mitzvah in a synagogue
[ ] you go to synagogue every saturday
[ ] you have been to israel
[ ]your family pet is in the rodent family
[ ]your mother wants you to be a doctor/lawyer
[ ]you are offended by jew jokes
[ ] if you are a guy you have been circumscised (girls just automatically put an
x for this one)
[ ] you went to sunday school since you were little (or yeshiva)
[ ] you complain about everything
[x ]you end a phone call with a family member by saying i love you
[ ] younever watch fox news
[ ] you went to preschool at a jcc
[ ] whenever a jew does something good to get on the news your mother takes it
as a personal compliment
[ ] whenever a jew does something bad to get on the news your mother is ashamed
and embarassed
[ ] you order something at a restaurant and change it completely
[ ] you dont take something at a restaurant because of one ingredient
[ ] you eat only kosher food
] you cant stand your mother/grandmother for more than a few minutes at a time
[ ] you understand and speak hebrew
[ ] you memorized the torah
[ ] you never stop talking
[ ] your mother never shuts up
[ ] youve been made fun of for being jewish
[ ] you cried about being made fun of
[ ] you freak out every time someone mentions hitler
[ ] you are interested in the history of WWII
[ ] silence seems awkward to you
[ ] chicken soup is a favorite food of yours
[ ] youve never gone hunting
[ ] sex is kosher in your opinion
[ ] you went through puberty at an early age
[ ] you know what a "shvatsa" is
[ ] you have at least one relative from new york or new jersey
[ ] your mother cries when you bring home a buddist or a hindu
girlfriend/boyfriend
[ ] you call everyone a shmuck
[ ] you know what shmuck means
[ ] you cry when you watch a holocaust movie
[ ] you love the movie "life is beautiful"
[ ] you wear glasses
[ ] your father has a beard
[ ] your parents wanted to/did name you after a biblical person
[ ]your parents always tell you what they would have named you if you were the
opposite sex
[ ] oi vey is an everyday term
[ ] you think that you are always right and you are 90% of the time
[ ] you dont like being refered to as "the jew"
[ ] you know exactly which family members you can blame for your nose/ears
[ ] if you only get your masters degree your mom will tell all your relatives
that you're a bum
now post this as " im ___ jew" remember each x is 2%
